On Surrender, Sacred Emptiness, and Love: A Birthday Reflection
Reflections of an almost empty mind :)
There are two intertwined themes occupying my mind in these recent months: the art of surrender and the power of fertile emptiness. As I turned a year older last month, I experienced a different birthday—one marked by an inner quietude rather than my usual anticipation of celebration.
The Gift of Birthdays Past
My mother gifted me an imprint of joyful birthday energy that I’ve carried all these years. Growing up, birthdays were special affairs of gratitude, love, and celebration. As children, we focused on friends, food, and gifts, but later understood the true essence: the love language of our parents, who remained tender and loving even through their own adult challenges. There was a common theme in all the birthdays of the past as children which was immense optimism. She took charge of planning the details of the day. We ( my younger brother and myself) didn’t worry about anything. , Little did I know, that she was teaching me the concept of active surrendering. It wasn’t only about our birthdays. Her life has been a testimony of unconditional love.
The Sacred Art of Surrender
I had lost the art of surrender, and finding it again has been both joyful and redemptive. For a change, I had surrendered to the flow of my birthday with no expectations. I didn’t have any plans. In spiritual traditions across the world, surrender is not about giving up, but about giving over—releasing our grip on the illusion of control and allowing the divine flow to move through us. As the Tao teaches:
“Surrender yourself humbly; then you can be trusted to care for all things.Love the world as your own self; then you can truly care for all things.”
This surrender is an active practice, a daily choice to trust in something larger than ourselves. It’s about recognising that our limited perspective cannot grasp the infinitude of existence, and finding peace in that wisdom.
The Wisdom of Empty Spaces
In my journey, I’ve discovered the profound spiritual concept of fertile emptiness. Just as a vessel’s utility lies in its emptiness, our own emptying—of preconceptions, attachments, and the constant chatter of the mind—creates space for the sacred to enter. This emptiness is not a void, but a pregnant pause, rich with potential. I constantly remind myself to let go of the veil of knowledge I carry, creating room for discoveries.
Eastern philosophies speak of this emptiness as the womb of creation. In Zen, it’s called “mu” or “no-thing-ness.” In letting go of our need to constantly fill every moment, define every experience, and control every outcome, we create the conditions for genuine wisdom and creativity to emerge.
A Shift in Celebration
This year, my birthday reflection took the form of meditation—hours spent in the beautiful emptiness of an almost empty mind. While I haven’t fully grasped all aspects of spirituality, I feel a distinct shift in my energetic self. My day ended at a paradox museum, surrounded by children, where I reconnected with my childlike wonder—perhaps the purest form of surrender we can experience. For people who know me especially, my husband, I swing between different paradigms of existence. In one of those realities, childlike wonder and playful energy are an integral part of life. I am grateful that my ruminating phase which I have moaned about a lot :D is gradually fading away.
Metamorphosis and Cycles
Life’s changes are cyclical, occurring in patterns roughly every nine years. In accepting the transient nature of all things—both abundance and challenges—I’ve found profound peace. This acceptance is another form of surrender, recognising that like breath, life moves in and out, full and empty, in perfect rhythm.
Learning to Practice Empty Fullness
Through this journey, my understanding has shifted in beautiful ways:
From seeing emptiness as lacking to recognising it as potential
From fighting against life’s flow to surrendering to its wisdom
From constant doing to allowing spaces of being
From seeking to being
Learning Daily Surrenders
I’m learning that surrender is not a one-time event but a daily practice:
- Surrendering the need to know everything
- Surrendering the impulse to fill every silence
- Surrendering the desire to control outcomes
- Surrendering to the wisdom of uncertainty
Shifting Lens :
1. From seeing money as unimportant to recognising it as a tool for creating opportunities
2. From feeling lonely to embracing my connection with self, tribe, and Divine Energy
3. From exhausting empathy to preserving energy while remaining compassionate
4. From viewing sensitivity as weakness to recognising it as a superpower
From worrying about dwelling on hurts to starting new each day.
All My Paths Lead to Love
Through all my explorations of surrender and emptiness, I’ve come to understand that love is the golden thread that weaves it all together. Love gives me immense energy. It’s love that gives me the courage to surrender, love that makes emptiness fertile, and love as a transformational force in all aspects of life.
This love isn’t just the personal love I feel for family and friends, but a vast, all-encompassing love that spiritual traditions speak of—a love that is both the path and the destination. When I enter this primordial emptiness that I feel with love, it becomes not a void but a space of infinite potential.
Love as the Ultimate Practice
Love has become a way to transform my daily surrenders. It has helped me see letting go not as a loss, but as an opening to discover and chart new contours in my emotional and professional landscapes. It reminds me that my vulnerability is an essential part of how I was crafted in this world—it's a strength. Love has helped me find wholeness in emptiness. It has also opened me to the inner spiritual realms with curiosity and less judgment.
Rather than seeking answers, I’m learning to live the questions:
- What wants to emerge from the fertile void?
- What am I being called to surrender today?
- How can I create space for the sacred in the ordinary?
As I continue this journey, I’m learning that the greatest wisdom might be returning to the simple truth that love is the answer to questions we haven’t even thought to ask. In loving fully, we surrender completely. In surrendering completely, we empty ourselves of all that is not love. And in that empty fullness, we find ourselves home.
Perhaps this truth is best expressed in the language of poetry, I finally wrote a few lines after years. I also want to share this poem from Derek Walcott once again :
Love After Love by Derek Walcott The time will come when, with elation, you will greet yourself arriving at your own door, in your own mirror and each will smile at the other's welcome, and say, sit here. Eat. You will love again the stranger who was your self. Give wine. Give bread, Give back your heart to itself, to the stranger who has loved you all your life, whom you ignored for another, who knows you by heart. Take down the love letters from the bookshelf the photographs, the desperate notes, peel your own image from the mirror. Sit. Feast on your life.
As I celebrate another year of life, I understand that the greatest gift has been this journey of emptying and filling, of surrendering and finding, of losing and loving. In the end, all paths lead to this simple truth: love is both the journey and the destination. And in that knowledge, I find my home.
PS : Some visuals from my life. I am thankful for all of you <3. Please forgive me for this long post and too much of visuals :D
My new found hobby apart from learning Japanese and the piano is shooting timelapses.