On Spaciousness
on holding space for light and shadow in our lives with poems from Korea and Japan
What if time travel was a reality? What would you like to change or not change?
I often think of the possibility of travelling through time. Funnily, I don’t think of changes, but I often dream of meeting the past and future versions of me. I would love to travel to only observe myself and everyone that I love, loved and will love in this life.
Getting back to reality, I find myself drifting through tiny and large portals of time. I wrote a bit about time in my last edition too.
I've been feeling like a time traveller lately, as though I'm visiting an alternate reality of my life. This sensation of déjà vu washes over me as I sit to write, and it prompts me to reflect on the changes I've undergone. Sometimes, I scoff at myself for diving into the depths of these fleeting feelings. However, I've come to wonder if this ability to see and feel deeply is actually a gift—one that I must handle with utmost care.
As I embark on this introspective journey, a recent conversation with my partner, K, about parenting comes to mind. In the past, discussing such a topic would have filled me with despair, as it often pushed me into the void of “what ifs and why’s.” But this time, the conversation was different. Instead of sinking into desolation, I found myself observing from a vantage point, recognizing how my growing sense of self has been constantly evolving over time.
In a way, I feel like a time traveller in my own life, helping arrange the messy pieces of my existence into a mosaic suspended in the air. Pardon the artist in me, as I try to invoke a visual frame for this feeling. Yet, this shift I've been writing about is neither novel nor unheard of. It's a transformation that many people experience.
The most significant change that has facilitated my transition from holding everything so close to my heart to a more ballet-like trance is the concept of "spaciousness." I'm learning to hold onto life with butter fingers, allowing it to flow through my grasp. Similar to the vast expanse of the cosmos, my soul feels like an endless space—a place where I embrace the mysteries, uncertainties, and above all, the joys of life, allowing them to gravitate towards me at their own pace.
This sense of spaciousness aligns with the philosophy of wu-wei, an early Daoist view that emphasizes taking no action that is not in accord with the natural course of the universe. I highly recommend this Alan Watts video, where he talks about wu-wei and yugen too. Edward Singerland's definition from his book titled Trying Not to Try resonates with me:
"People in wu-wei feel as if they are doing nothing, while at the same time, they might be creating a brilliant work of art, smoothly negotiating a complex social situation, or even bringing the entire world into harmonious order. For a person in wu-wei, proper and effective conduct follows as automatically as the body gives in to the seductive rhythm of a song. This state of harmony is both complex and holistic, involving as it does the integration of the body, the emotions, and the mind."
In my own interpretation, spaciousness goes hand in hand with wu-wei, but with an additional element: building an awareness of what to hold deeply and what brings joy. It's crucial to identify the fertile, rich parts of life that deserve to be held deeply. Is it our relationships, our work, our creative endeavours, or perhaps something unique that becomes our personal "manna" for life?
Releasing attachments to the things of the past has allowed me to approach life with a more spacious perspective. Like the branches of tree canopies that extend laterally and interweave with neighbouring trees, I've learned to adapt and connect with the world around me. This adaptability helps me capture the sunlight of opportunities while still maintaining stability in the face of challenges.
Life is akin to a watercolour abstract painting, where patterns and colours emerge based on the flow of water. In this regard, we have the choice to embrace figuration or abstraction. While some may find solace in holding everything deeply, for me, allowing spaciousness has become a philosophy that fosters personal growth. We each have the agency to choose our elixirs—the methods that resonate most with our individual journeys.
As I continue on this path, I am learning to hold space for all the parts of myself in this deep, loving, and ever-changing expanse. Through spaciousness, I am cultivating harmony within myself and finding unity with the world around me. It is through this practice that I embark on my journey as a time traveller in my own life, embracing the unfolding moments with curiosity and grace.
I hope henceforth, you will find a balance of light and shadow in my future posts. For this week, I want to share three poems. The first one is by Kim Ch’un-su who is a a Korean poet. His poem Flower is a philosophical poem that is around solitude and intimacy. The second poem is by Yun Dong-ju who is another famous Korean poet, this poem is a self-reflective poem. Both these poems sound incredibly beautiful when read in Korean. Someday, I hope to learn Japanese and Korean to be able to read their poems :). The third poem is by Kobayashi Issa, one of my favourite poets. I hope you enjoy this week’s poems.
The Flower by Kim Chun-soo Before I called her name, she was nothing more than a gesture. When I called her name, she came to me and became a flower. Like I called her name, will someone please call my name that suits my light and fragrance? I, too, long to come to her and become her flower. We all long to be something. You, to me, and I, to you, long to become a gaze that won’t be forgotten. Prologue by Yun Dong-ju Until the day I die I long to have no speck of shame when I gaze up toward heaven, so I have tormented myself, even when the wind stirs the leaves. With a heart that sings the stars, I will love all dying things. And I will walk the way that has been given to me. Tonight, again, the wind brushes the stars. Haiku by Kobayashi Issa The world of dew— a world of dew it is indeed, and yet, and yet..
In my journey of finding spaciousness, I am excavating new paths filled with surprises and wonders of approaching life—one that embraces change, finds joy in the present, and fosters interconnectedness with the world. May we all find our own paths of spaciousness and choose the path that resonates with our souls.
For this week, the reflection for you :
How can you cultivate a balance between holding deeply and letting go in your own journey?
Have a lovely week and summer break. I’m soaking in all the sun while it lasts :). See you soon.